Thursday, November 30, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 30: Finally over with!

     Another November completed, another NotNaNoWriMo behind me.

    This one would have been a lot better if I hadn't started having heart palpitations again in the last four or so days of it.  😭  Still, I did at least manage to get through the "next few sequences" outline that I had guessed would take about 30-40k to write (I thought I said so in a post somewhere, but I'm not sure where...) and said outline's contents actually ended up taking 51k words.  Actually, maybe I said it would be 30-50k?  I don't know, I can't find where I said that (it may have been in one of my notes to myself somewhere and not in a post, as I just looked through a bunch of them and found nothing on that),  but either way...wait.  Wait.  No, I'm confused.  Did I say that about this section of outline or the earlier section of outline?  Or did I delete some steps from this section of the outline already?  Because--

    Ugh, you know what?  Never mind.  It doesn't matter.

    What does matter is that I said twice around the time that November started that the bit of outline I had would last me until December and it did!  Precisely!

    (Okay, I found where I gave numbers, and it was in the previous version of the outline that led up to this same point, where the final step on that outline started with "Aaaannnnnnnd I’m not sure how I’ll proceed from there, but this is actually quite a lot, probably another 20-40k, so I’ll worry about it later.  Much later." That outline turned into 110k. So apparently I have a very poor eye for judging how many words it's gonna take me to tell a story.)

    Anyway!

    So, I didn't break 100k this month, but I did finish the mini-outline I was working from (and now I need to write a new one before I can move forwards 😭) which was one of my goals for November, so I consider it a true win! 😆

    Final numbers!

    Total words in document: 343,792

    Words written today: 8,730

    Words written in November, total: 93,792

    Pretty version:


    Also, here's the words by day version for the whole month:


    In other news, this happened today:


    Thought that one was fun. 😋

    Also, I wanted to share this exchange I wrote today:

            Jiang Cheng’s face mottled crimson so dark it was almost purple, and he shoved Wei Wuxian’s hand away as if it was a poisonous snake.  “Don’t you have any shame, Wei Wuxian?!”

            “None to speak of.”  Wei Wuxian shook his head.  “But I do have principles, Jiang Cheng.  You know that.”


    I have fun with their brotherly relationship.  (Also with Wei Wuxian's utter lack of shame.)


    Anyway, with all this finally behind me, I will probably take a few days off from writing in order to unwind.  Also to focus on reading.  (I'm still not caught up in rereading Heaven Official's Blessing, even though the final volume is sitting there on the table, begging me to hurry up and read it! 😭)  I also haven't even started Persona 5 Tactica yet, and I already saw a Youtube thumbnail that teased me with something possibly awesome being in it, so I want to get to that in a hurry, too...(though I am trying not to get my hopes up too high, lest they be dashed yet again...)

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 29: Sometimes it feels like a curse

     I swear, my body hates me.  Most of my health problems come from my weight.  I'm aware of this.  (I say "most" because my asthma definitely does not.  Nor my poor eyesight.)  But every time I try to lose weight, somehow I do it wrong and make everything worse.

    As I said, sometimes it feels like a curse.

    Y'see, as I've mentioned already, I've been dieting for the past couple weeks, trying to reduce my overall appetite so that once that's accomplished I can eat more-or-less normally but still lose weight.  (If that makes any sense.)  I evidently went so overboard that today the world was spinning so badly when I was in the bath that I had to get out without even washing my hair (I did at least wash my body, so that's something) out of fear that I might pass out and drown or something.  I've been a bit dizzy for most of the day, but after having a goodly meal with lots of protein (though really, the meal bars have a lot of protein, too!) and some potassium (from a baked potato) I've been a little better.  But now I have no idea what I should be doing about my diet.

    Well, other than consulting a doctor.  I mean, realistically, that's what I should have done in the first place, but it seems like the latest weight loss craze among doctors is "oh, if you want to lose weight then you should let us cut you open and staple your stomach shut!" which is just not happening.  Gross.  It's like, can you please just give me an appetite suppressant and call it a day?  I do not want to have staples in my stomach.  Ick.

    *cough*


    Anyway.

    Despite the dizziness fit, I was actually able to get a good amount of writing done today.  It was only one scene, but it was a long one.  (And I got to have a moment where Wei Wuxian's vanity shows itself, which is always fun.  Actually, I'm not sure "vanity" is the right word?  It's more like pride in the fact that everyone else finds him attractive?  It's not really something I can easily sum up...)

    And I had to adjust the numbers represented on my chart again, so now the top line on it represents 100k words, which I am super not going to reach tomorrow, and that is totally fine.  Um.  Okay, actually...I kinda would like to reach it, but that is not going to happen, and I am striving to be okay with that because I do not want to induce further stress and send my heart off into tizzy land again.


    *ahem*

    So.

    Numbers.

    Total words in document:  335,062

    Yesterday I wrote:  2,942 words

    Today I wrote:  4,117 words

    Total words written in November to date:  85,062

    Pretty version:

Monday, November 27, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 27: Oh, No, Not Again!

     So...my heart palpitations have come back.  With a vengeance.  The last few days, really, but they really kicked into overdrive last night, and didn't let up this morning, though by now (midafternoon), they've calmed down again.

    I'm hoping that it's just because of the "hurry up and get it done" atmosphere that's been pervading my life for the last week or so.  The constant frustration that I'm not progressing through my outline quickly enough.  The drive to finish rereading the first seven volumes of Heaven Official's Blessing before the final volume comes out tomorrow.  (Spoiler:  not gonna make it.  I'm almost done with volume four.  No way I can read volumes five through seven in the next twenty-four hours.  Volume five, sure, but not more than that.  It really pisses me off that my own stupidity is gonna delay me getting to find out how the story ends.  Still glad I'm rereading, though; I'm noticing a ton of details and hints that I had no clue about the first time, since now that I know where the story is going, I understand the characters' actions differently.)

    There's been other factors, too.  There's the frustration of having my schedule (particularly my writing schedule) interrupted for Thanksgiving and various other things surrounding it.  The rush to try to remember all the sites I wanted to shop at during the post-Thanksgiving sales.  (I do not shop in person anywhere other than a grocery store between Thanksgiving and New Year's.  Just too many people out there.  I can't handle it.  Also, I have a terminal allergy to Christmas music, especially the ghastly variety played by retail establishments.)  The frustration that the final volume of Heaven Official's Blessing was delayed a week and so now I'll have to go to Barnes & Noble on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving instead of the Tuesday before it.

    And, worst of all, my body's sensitivity to various things fluctuates sometimes, and about a week ago, maybe a week and a half, my body entered into a very strong sensitive to touching itself phase.  Which sounds dirty, but it's not.  You see, I have a very massive weight problem.  Like, at least one doctor has described my condition as "morbidly obese."  Which seems inherently rude, but whatever.  Point is, when I sit, it's very hard to keep my stomach from touching my legs.  Sometimes this is only mildly annoying, and sometimes--as for the past week or so--it is so mind-bogglingly uncomfortable that I have to find something to shove between them and try to use a standing desk set-up to write despite that standing in place too long makes my back hurt.  Having my arms touch my stomach or my breasts is also almost impossible to avoid, and goes beyond uncomfortable into a bit painful, as the skin on my left arm goes beyond sensitive into the "life-threateningly maddening" category, and right now my arm touching my stomach or breasts makes the cloth on my shirt feel like it's sandpaper of a particularly rough and viciously cruel variety.  Which makes no sense, but nothing about my body ever does.  Anyway, because of that, I have been on an extremely tight diet, trying to shrink my stomach (not the belly, but the actual organ) so that I'll have less appetite, so that losing weight will be a little less difficult.  (Right around Thanksgiving is the absolute worst time for this, but it's not like my body asked my permission!)

    There's various other little things as well, but those are the main ones.

    Basically, I'm stressed out all over the place, and there's not a huge amount to be done about it except to tell myself to stop stressing out.  Not always an effective tactic, to say the least.

    Anyway.  NotNaNoWriMo time.

    Total words in document:  328,003

    Words written yesterday:  2,450

    Words written today:  1,581

    Words written in November to date:  78,003



Saturday, November 25, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 25: Too Tired

     So life stuff happened and I lost the last hour of the morning and the entire afternoon.

    Thus I only finished writing just now, at almost 11:00 at night.

    I am very tired now.


    G'night.


    Total words in document:  323,972

    Words written today: 3,766

    Words written in November to date:  73,972



Friday, November 24, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 24: Chugging Along

     So, I may have missed my post yesterday, but I didn't miss my writing yesterday.  (Also, wtf is going on?  That's the third time one of the keys on my keyboard was interpreted wrongly while trying to write a post.  Doesn't mess with any other program, just this browser.  So weird...)

    Anyway, I actually got a lot of writing done yesterday, largely I suspect because in between lunch and dinner, I spent most of the afternoon at my brother's house, because he wanted us to have dinner together, because my parents served chicken (having missed the deadline to reserve a chunk of turkey breast in advance) and it didn't seem like Thanksgiving unless we had turkey.  I was kinda "whatever" about it, but went along with it anyway.  (Which absolutely murdered my diet.  I was probably set back a week by having two full meals instead of mealbars.)

    So, yesterday's total was a really good 5,414 words.  Today's was not so great.  (Possibly because I was home alone and kept getting distracted by seeing if various sites I like to shop at were having a good Black Friday sale.  Also partially because I actually needed to buy some clothes on said Black Friday sales.  Though who knows if I ended up buying the right size...)


    At this point, I know for a fact that there is no way that before November is over I'll get through the chunk of outline I prepared at the end of last month.  Which is a pity, because I really would have liked to do so.  (Not that it would have brought me to the end of the work by a longshot.  I feel like this thing is eternal at this point...)  So my goal is kinda to get through at least two points off the outline a day, but I know I'll fail to do that tomorrow, because tomorrow's is not very fully outlined and intended to be multiple scenes instead of just one, like the other points on the outline are.  But...well, I'm just going to do what I can, I guess.



    Total words in work:  320,206

    Words written today:  2,971

    Words written in November to date:  70,206

    Pretty version:


    Tomorrow, I'll have to adjust the top bar of the chart again...

Wednesday, November 22, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 22: repetitive title strikes again

     It's like a repeat of yesterday, only without the shopping as an excuse.  (Admittedly, in one of my "I can't keep going" breaks, I did some online window shopping, but that's not the same thing at all.)

    My word count is slightly better than yesterday, and I did get slightly more done in the story, but not by a huge margin.  Yesterday I only wrote one scene, today I did about a scene and a half.

    Pretty pitiful, all told.

    I've probably been spending too much of my brain power on writing and stuff lately.  Probably need to take a break and do something else.  (Finally learning how to use Blender, maybe.)

    But I can't do that in November, can I?!  (Though that being said, I may just blow off NaNo for one day next week so I can spend it just reading...)

    Besides, I can't take too much of a break while I'm still in the middle of writing this behemoth, so...

    *sigh*


    Anyway.

    Total words in document:  311,821

    Words written today:  1,864

    Words written in November to date:  61,821

    Ugh.  My numbers are so crap.  I used to be so much faster than this.

    


Tuesday, November 21, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 21: another mediocre day

     Once again, I feel like I have not accomplished all I wanted to today.

    Partially, that's the real world intervening in my writing schedule:  I needed a new coat and some new jeans and maybe some new shirts, and if I wanted to be able to get them in person (and thus be able to try them on) then I needed to today, because as of Friday all malls will be too crazed and I will refuse to set foot in them until January.  (Tragically, also the case for many stand-alone stores as well, and yet I have no choice but to go to Barnes and Noble a week from today, because that's when the final volume of Heaven Official's Blessing comes out.  (Lol, I just went to their website to doublecheck that, and both the regular and special edition versions of the final volume are already listed as Bestsellers.  😁))  Took way too long and I was left so tired that I didn't even want to head to the other side of the mall (not even by car!) to go to Lush to get the shampoo and conditioner I need. 😩  That, at least, I can safely order online since it's not like one needs to "try on" soaps and stuff 🤣  But at least I got a coat and a pair of jeans and like half a top.  (It needs something else under it, ya see, so it's only "half" by itself.)  And evidently now Black Friday is a week long? 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Anyway, all that took up way too much of my day, plus I was rather exhausted when I got home, so I didn't really get through as much writing as I wanted to.  And the number of things left on my outline is crazy...especially since the outline doesn't carry the story anywhere near its ending...

    Oh crap!  I forgot to update the outline with those new details I thought of earlier!

    Ack, gotta go do that.

    Bye!



    Total words in document:  309,957

    Words written today:  1,394

    Words written in November to date:  59,957

    (Ooh, hey, the November part of the total has a partial palindrome! 😝)

    Pretty version:

Monday, November 20, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 20: starting to get problematic

     Wow.  Yesterday was...a thing.

    So, for reasons, I could not sleep the previous night.  Like, at all.  I got maybe four hours, probably closer to two.  (Certainly, I didn't get four contiguous hours, at any rate.)

    I was, therefore, a complete wreck yesterday, tired through and through, to the point that I had a big, caffeinated soda with my lunch (normally, I only allow myself caffeine once a day, in case it had anything to do with where my heart palpitations came from), and I was still barely conscious for the rest of the day.

    Now, I did actually manage to get some writing done--to the tune of 989 words, so better than the day before--but I did not have the strength to do anything like, y'know, posting to the blog about it.

    Today was...better?  I guess?  Certainly, I wrote a lot more words, and got past the scene I was on, but...I feel like I lost the majority of the day.  (Admittedly, I did lose a huge chunk of it to going to lunch with my parents and then finally getting to see Barbie (which only makes what I'm writing feel like even more of a waste of time, because I'm writing shallow escapism, instead of trying to find a way to write something meaningful and powerful and funny and emotional and) but that's hardly the entire day, and I should have been able to write plenty in the morning before I left, yet I didn't.)

    Doesn't help that last night I slept on my neck wrong and now it hurts like crazy, but I don't think that had anything to do with my lack of words today or how uneasily they came.  (Hmm...I don't think that's the right word there...like..."uneasily" is not actually the opposite of "easily" even though it should be...)

    Anyway, I want to get this done before having dinner and it's already almost 6:30, so...

    Total words in work:  308,563

    Words written today:  1,841

    Words written in November to date:  58,563

    Pretty version:

    Also, since it's been another ten days, here's the words by the day version:

    ...and both the troughs and peaks are now lower than they were.  Ugh.

Saturday, November 18, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 18: ugh

     Today was not a day for writing.  (Not writing my project, anyway.  I wrote over 1500 words of plot summary for another idea I had.)

    Today was evidently a day for wondering "what the heck is it that I'm doing with my life?"

    I found myself wondering at what point I made a wrong turn to end up the way I am.

    If I had never gotten into anime and manga, had never gotten into collecting toys and dolls, I would have so much more money than I do.  If I had never trained myself to be as utterly slovenly as I am, I would have a better life.  (Not buying as much crap would help on that front, of course.)

    Pretty much all of that can be...well, maybe not all of it comes from my time in college.  Mostly anime came after that, and manga entirely did, though that was an offshoot of getting into anime.  But I feel like everything that happened in college led me in that direction.  So once again I'm left with the inescapable conclusion that if I had gone to a different college, then maybe my life would not be such utter garbage.

    I applied to seven colleges when I was a senior in high school.

    I got into all of them.

    One of them was just a hair short of being an Ivy League school.  (Pretty much the only reason it's not is that it's in Chicago instead of New England.)  But you know which one I decided to attend?

    The one my advisor at the time considered my "safety" school.

    It had the worst academics, and it cost the most.  I went there because they flatteringly offered me a miniscule scholarship, and it had a pretty campus.

    Worst.

    Decision.

    Of.

    My.

    Life.

    I didn't even enjoy it there.  I was miserable almost the entire time, and because I had so little luck being accepted by the other students, I withdrew into myself even more than I had in high school.

    I mean, maybe it wouldn't have been any better at the other school.  Impossible to know, unless someone develops a way to look at parallel universes or something.  But it was just so...ugh, I wish my parents had tried harder to talk me out of it.

    Obviously, as soon as I started having thoughts like that, there was very little chance of me actually managing to write anything.  It's kind of a small miracle I wrote any words at all, really.

    Though I only wrote 487 of them.  Making a total of 55,733 words in November.

    


Friday, November 17, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 17: No real title again today

     Not a lot to say about today's writing.  I did get a lot accomplished--last night in the bath I figured out how to get over the story block I had last night (I always seem to get a lot of story ideas in the bath for some reason), and so I finished both that scene and the next one--but I also got distracted by trying to look up some stuff.

    The problem with writing fanfiction rather than regular fiction is you have to stop and check on things in the original work.  Case in point, the brothers I was talking about the other day.  They're half-brothers, yeah?  So, I was wondering what we knew about their mothers; specifically, for a conversation I was writing, I wanted to know if one of their mothers was a concubine, or a mistress, or what.  (After all, it could be that the elder's mother died in childbirth and the father remarried.)  So I went to their wiki pages and looked at the page text and when that didn't say anything I looked at the comments, just in case anyone had asked and gotten any interesting replies.  The comments on the younger brother's page were a lot of arguing over the morality of his actions and whether or not he was a better person than Jin Guangyao.  (Anyone who says JGY is a better person is wrong.  NHS is morally grey, but by the end of the story JGY is practically evil.  There are many places he could have stopped at just being morally grey, but he didn't; he decided to embrace the worse side of his actions and magnified it repeatedly for no reason but the pursuit of power/reputation.)  The comments on the elder brother's page, however, were as follows:  one comment about how he comes off pretty badly due to his refusal to see things in shades of gray, and every other comment there was thirsting over him.  Like, so much thirst.  I was just not expecting that.  I mean, yeah, the actor on the drama is hot, but so's half the cast, so...I dunno.  I don't get allosexuals, is what I suppose I'm trying to say. 🤣


    Anyway!

    Today's numbers!

    Total words in work:  305,246

    Words written today:  a very respectable 5,112

    Words written in November to date:  55,246

    Pretty version:



Thursday, November 16, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 16: Success, sort of?

     Well, to start with, this happened:

    Only I didn't get much further than that.  Because the next scene required the group that's out hunting down a murderer to encounter a trap he's laid for them.  A trap which they must either not recognize as being a trap, or not realize was left by him.

    I have zero clue what that trap needs to be.  Like, at all.  It is a total mystery to me.

    The fact that I have reached the point where the first of these traps needs to take place (there will be many more, of an escalating nature) without coming up with the nature of the traps is, of course, deeply worrying.  But hopefully I'll think of something by tomorrow morning...

    Anyway.  Numbers:

    Words currently in work:  300,134

    Words written today:  1,460

    Words written in November to date:  50,134

    I had to adjust the scale of my chart a bit.  I'm not sure I like the number I picked to be the new top row.  It feels off, somehow.

    


Wednesday, November 15, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 15: A Weird Fandom Thought

    All right, so I have some strange fandom stuff I want to say, but it will involve heavy spoilers for Mo Dao Zu Shi...and also for Hamlet, in case anyone happens to stumble across this blog after having arrived from another planet and/or the distant past and therefore doesn't know the plot of Hamlet.  (If any such aliens/reverse-isekai-protags are reading this, give it a read!  Widely regarded as one of the greatest works in Western literature, and also very short, as it's a play and therefore can be performed in about...well, I think the runtime on the movie of the entire play was something like three and a half hours?)

    Anyway, my point is just that I'm going to put my NotNaNo update at the start of the post today instead of the end.  Because spoilers.

    So, in terms of my writing today, it was actually pretty disappointing.  I really wanted to hit 50k today.  It's the 15th, the halfway mark, so I have no excuse not to have written that much already!  But somehow I never seem to manage it quickly in NotNaNo, unlike real NaNo.  🤷🏻‍♀️  But I've been having trouble finding a comfortable sitting position for writing for the past few days (that was one of the contributing factors to my low total the last two days), so I've had to be working at a makeshift standing desk and it's pain-inducing for my back, plus the table shifts sometimes and I have to catch it before my laptop can fall, and generally I have more trouble forcing myself to write in this position, but sitting just wasn't going to happen, so combined with a really unpleasant next scene, it was just a "yeah, no" situation.

    Total words in the work:  298,674

    Words written today:  3,660

    Words written in November to date:  48,674

    Pretty version:



    Anyway, now, the other thing I wanted to talk about, which I decided to put after my word count because it gets into MDZS fandom stuff and involves heavy spoilers.

    I think I've figured out a way to do the "read more" line like I used to be able to do on Wordpress, so I'll put that below here...


Tuesday, November 14, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 14: As predicted, almost

     Well, it was a better writing day today than yesterday.  That's something.

    Not a lot, but something.

    It definitely would have been a better day if I hadn't gone out to lunch as well as going to the bookstore to get the new (and I think final?) volume of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card, but...not a lot to do about that after the fact.  (Would also definitely have been a much better day all around if I had gone out to lunch somewhere else, because the lunch I had did not sit well with me, and...well, I don't want to say what happened because of that.  But suffice to say that I lost some potential writing time due to that.)

    Also not helpful was the fact that I wrote precisely 200 words that ended up in strikethrough before the day was over because I had allowed the conversation to turn in a direction that was totally stupid and useless because the characters were not saying anything the reader didn't already know, and not revealing anything about their personalities in so doing.  Thankfully, I noticed before I had written any more than that, so I was able to correct, but...ugh.  The fact that something like that can happen (and that something similar happened yesterday is frustrating, to say the least.)

    I also ended up needing to add more to my outline and refine/retool some of what was already there, a task that took a bit over 1,000 words, so that if I had been able to spend that time on actual writing instead of outlining, I might have added 3k to my work instead of 2k.  Again, ugh seems like the best way to sum that up.

    On the other hand, near the end of my writing day, at the end of a sentence, as I was trying to figure out what the next line was, I glanced down at the status bar at the bottom of the window and saw 



    which is pretty cool, because  normally I have to force my palindromes a bit.  (Deleting spaces to reduce the word count by a tiny bit, usually...)  On top of that, this palindrome's page count even tied into the word count.  😆


    Anyway, anything else I had to say has been washed out of my brain by lots of random little crap, so...


    Number time!

    Today I wrote 2,454 words...

    ....making for 295,014 words in the work total...

    ...and 45,014 in November to date.

    Which seems not bad, yeah?  Especially since we're not quite at the halfway mark for the month! 😁

    Pretty version:

Monday, November 13, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 13: writer fall flat

 Today was just a non-starter.

I wrote 295 words.

Some of which got cancelled out because I realized that what I had the character starting to do last night was moronic and would permanently put a stop to (at the least) the romance she's supposed to get into.

Admittedly, she's been fighting me the whole way on that romance, so maybe it's just not in the cards despite that it was the plan going in, but...enh, I will worry about that after I write her reaction to the second time he confesses to her.  (First time did not go well for him.  Though that, at least, was how it was supposed to go all along.  She was supposed to fall for him along the way, though, and so far she is 100% resistant to his allure.  (Maybe tsundere guys are an acquired taste?  (I'm not sure I like what that says about me, if so...)))

Anyway, I have given up on writing more.  But tomorrow should be better, because I have a strong scene I've been looking forward coming up.  (Though I also have an errand to run out of the house, which always puts a crimp in my writing plans...)

Sunday, November 12, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 12: ugh, awful

     Not a good day.

    The center of the day was ripped away, my dad called unnecessarily when I was on my way out the door and an anime figure got broken as a result (and one of the pieces is just gone), and then almost everything about going to my parents' place was agonizing, and...argh!


    Words were written, but not enough and I wasted a lot of my precious time on research that did not pan out for a mythological reference that is like five lines long and currently just says [mythology-based] because I still don't have anything to put in there, but I didn't have time today to sift through the entire book based on the Classic of the Mountains and Seas.


    So yeah.

    Day sucked.

    Gonna eat dinner (late) and play video games all night.


    Today's total: 292,265

    Words written today:  2,657

    Words written in November to date:  42,265



Saturday, November 11, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 11: Today has been Weird

    Weird thing happened last night.  (Before the part where my need-for-new-glasses made me mistake a lit-up tree with bright fall foliage for a fire in the distance and caused me to go on a long walk to find out where the fire was and if anyone had reported it.)

    I was thinking about the scene I needed to write today, and realized that there was something wrong with it.

    So, the two leads of the original work are on an expedition to hunt down the psychopath who wiped out a few small clans just before the outbreak of the war that they all just finished fighting.  Unfortunately, for reasons that would take too long to explain here, they were forced to bring along people from various other clans as well, including this one major asshole who literally defied orders and committed a significant war crime.  (This was not something he did in canon, btw, just in this fic (unlike the clan-slaughtering the psychopath did), but I feel confident in saying that what he did lined up well with the character's canon personality, especially in the live-action drama.)  Anyway, so what I wrote yesterday had the asshole getting in a big argument with the rest of the team and storming off, and them realizing that despite how glad they are to be rid of him, they need to follow him, because what if he vents his rage on others?

    The scene for today, according to my original plan, was for them to arrive too late to a village that he had vented his rage on, killing about half the population, with the wounded survivors able to identify him as the one responsible.  A particular OC had been created to go along on the expedition exclusively so there would be someone to escort those survivors to safety while the rest of the team traveled onwards in their hunt for the psycho (as there was no sign of the asshole leaving the village on foot, meaning he had flown home on his sword).

    Sounds harrowing, but an acceptable story scene, right?

    Unfortunately, there was a major snag.

    See, the asshole didn't fly home alone in frustrated defeat:  he flew home with the psychopath as a prize, bringing him on board as his clan morphed from annoying to outright evil.  But the heroes don't know the psycho was there, and so they continue their search, unaware that their prey has eluded them.

    You can probably see the problem, right?

    If there were survivors, why wouldn't they tell anyone that this wanted murderer (who has a very distinctive face) had been in their town?

    The answer, of course, is that there is no possible reason they wouldn't share that info, so either he had been hiding and no one knew he was there until the asshole arrives (unlikely at best) or there cam be no survivors.

    So I had to opt for the latter.  I had to make the whole village die in the attack (made it a smaller village to compensate, but I still feel awful about it) and just had someone there who had stumbled onto the scene late in the slaughter, having only caught a glimpse of the asshole before hiding in terror.

    That meant that the OC I had created just to be someone to take the survivors to safety no longer needs to exist, and I can delete him from the second draft.  (Not deleting him now because NaNo word counts, of course.)

    The story will be stronger this way (especially since now the witness is a canon character I had already planned on introducing later in the fic, and this will be a more natural way to do so) but I still feel dumb for having not having thought of any of this until last night.  I mean, yeah, I got more words out of it for NaNo (the new OC was introduced since November started) but that's not really the point.  As long as this thing is, and as much work as it'll need on the next draft, I hate that I just made myself even more work. 😖


    On top of that, I have no idea what to do for the next scene.  The next on in my outline was back at the home of the fic's lead, and it centered on his sister acting dreamy because the man she loves--who had rejected her earlier--is now actively courting her.  (This is a canon event, btw.  In the original novel, he breaks off their arranged marriage, then years later realizes "oh, wait, she's actually my perfect woman" and becomes the most devoted husband (for about a year, then he dies horribly) and evidently no one in universe thought it odd that he could have had such a major about face.)  I feel like if I go straight from "horrible slaughter" to "giddy sister in love" it will make it feel like she's a terrible person (even though she has no idea the slaughter happened) and make her romance look awful.  (All the more so since the one behind the slaughter was her soon-to-be-husband's cousin!)

    But I don't really have anything plot-wise to go in there.  Most of the plot for the second half of the novel can't really get going yet, because until the big bad of the second half starts making his move, the good guys don't really realize there's anything they still have to be fighting against, other than the general heartlessness of the political side of their society.

    Hopefully I'll think of something before I need to start writing tomorrow.


    Anyway, numbers!

    Total words in document:  289,608

    Words written today:  3,267

    Words written in November to date:  39,608

    (Pity I couldn't find another 374 words to write; ending a day on a palindrome was always fun back in official NaNo days...)


Friday, November 10, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 10: Still sort of off?

     I did better today than yesterday, I guess?

    I mean, I did write more words (though not by as much as I'd like) and I got through two scenes instead of one, but...gnh.  It doesn't feel like I accomplished much.  But I just can't face writing the next scene today.  The ones I already wrote were pretty hard to deal with because of what was going on (in the first, an asshole is harassing the leads of the original work (who are only supporting characters in this fanfiction), and in the second is smarmy politics) and the next scene is harrowing as well (they come across a village that has been half-slaughtered).

    But actually, I remembered something I should have posted about yesterday or even the day before.

    I've managed to add what I feel is probably one of the weirdest (and tamest) love triangles ever.  Though it's almost a love triangle for one?

    To explain fully, I need to sum up the characters involved (in case anyone happens to read this that isn't familiar with the original work).  Two of them are from the original work, Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed, and one of them is original to this fanfic.  The canon characters are the Nie brothers, Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang.  The elder, Nie Mingjue, is the leader of their clan, a straight-edged badass, albeit one with a bit of a temper.  The younger, Nie Huaisang, is about as unlike his brother as possible, being quiet, preferring painting to learning the saber, and generally a bit of a lay-about dandy (but in a good way).  I love them both, really, though I'm a bit more partial to Nie Huaisang, since he was one of the characters in the drama who excited my usually-latent maternal instinct, and I just wanted to hug him and take care of him.  (Ironically, just like the other one, Wen Ning, he really doesn't need anyone to baby him.  Though unlike Wen Ning, he'd probably be thrilled to have someone decide to shelter and protect him.)

    Anyway, neither of them has an official love interest of any kind; people popularly pair them off with various characters, but there is never a moment in any version of the original work where they actually say they have romantic or sexual feelings for anyone, nor does either of them ever marry.  (Uh, as far as we know.  Technically, NHS really ought to be married by the novel's present, but if he had a wife, her existence was never mentioned.  That doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have one, just that she never happened to be mentioned.  Though he probably doesn't have one...)  Part of my own aromantic and asexual nature is that I have difficulty just shipping two characters because I like them or they seem like their personalities could mesh well with each other, so if a character doesn't have blatantly expressed interest in anyone, I'm likely to think of them as fairly ace, just because that comes more naturally to me.  In a setting like the MDZS setting, though, I do expect most people from prominent families to enter a heterosexual marriage because in any ancient setting you would expect that, just for the continuation of the bloodline, regardless of the person's actual sexual preferences.  (In that regard, the novel's present is already pretty weird, because you have numerous men in their mid to late thirties who are still single, despite being clan leaders and/or their heirs.  A real person in their situation likely would have entered into a marriage with a woman they didn't care about if they couldn't find one they did care about, fathered a child or two on her and then promptly started ignoring her.  At least, in most cultures they would have; I haven't done enough research on the reality of ancient China to be 100% sure of that there.  But...yeah, most likely it was the case there, too.  Because life prior to the 20th century was harsh everywhere, and the human race wanted to survive, and having children was a big part of that survival.)  Long story short, my own take on the Nie brothers' sexuality in canon is that Nie Mingjue is largely asexual, but with a strong homosocial/homoromantic side, and that Nie Huaisang is more or less aroace.  I have a few fics planned where NHS is not ace, but not many.  (Actually, there may only be the one where he isn't ace, come to think of it.  The other one I have planned where he has a wife is a post-canon fic where he specifically marries a girl who is as much like Jiang Yanli as possible, in order to try to get Wei Wuxian to forgive him.  Also to curry favor with Jiang Cheng, but mostly because he really wants Wei Wuxian to be his friend again, because there weren't many people who actually wanted to be his friend when they still thought he was a pathetic loser.)

(This is them, from The Untamed...which is the version of canon I'm using for this fic.)

    Moving on to the third character, the one I made up, she's from the Yu Clan, the niece of Yu Ziyuan, Jiang Cheng's mother.  Earlier in this monster of a fic, I introduced Yu Jiayi, the heiress to the Yu Clan (the fandom has concluded that the Yu Clan is probably matriarchal, which is too awesome a conclusion to ignore), eldest sister of Yu Ziyuan.  I consider Yu Jiayi to be only about halfway a true OC, since she's someone whose existence is necessarily implied by canon, only without any details about name or personality.  (Because we know that Yu Ziyuan was the third daughter, so obviously she has to have two elder sisters.  Much like one of the other OCs in the fic is the father of Lan Jingyi; we don't know anything about his father other than that he has to be closely enough related to Lan Wangji for Lan Jingyi to be considered part of the main family, so he's a blank slate, but he has to exist in canon, because if he didn't then where would Lan Jingyi have come from?)  Anyway, more recently I introduced Yu Zongying, daughter of Yu Jiayi, and thus cousin to Jiang Cheng.  (Hilariously, I hadn't even noticed that I had given her the same initials as her aunt until much later; it was just that the only name I got from the name generator for female names that still had a badass enough meaning for her happened to give her the initial YZY.)  She announces that she's come along on this mission that Wei Wuxian is going on in order to make sure that he doesn't humiliate the Jiang Clan and her cousin, its leader.  Fair enough, right?

    Only that's not actually the whole reason she's there.  It turns out her mother sent her to join this expedition--which was starting in Qinghe, home of the Nie brothers--in the hopes that Yu Zongying would be able to catch Nie Mingjue's eye and manage to marry him.  However, he's not her type, as she prefers a man who's a little bit weak, so she can protect him...meaning that Nie Huaisang is exactly her type.  So she's one corner of the triangle, having her hopes set on Nie Huaisang.  Who, meanwhile, has decided that Yu Zongying would make the perfect wife for his brother.  Who, of course, is oblivious to the whole thing, having a lot else on his mind.  So I ended up with a "triangle" that looks like this:


    I feel like that could actually be fun to mess with, but it probably won't even be brought up again. 😅  Maybe at most a mention in passing about her having managed to snag one of them as a husband, but if she returns home in failure (highly likely) then it would never have need of being mentioned, because it's not like anyone other than her knows about her own feelings, and only she and her mother know she was supposed to be trying to catch Nie Mingjue as a husband.  🤣  Though, in all honesty, I think I've spent more words on the attempted relationships in this post than I did in the fic.  Since she never told anyone else, it's just in the one scene in her POV, and she's already had to drop out of the expedition because she got injured protecting someone else, so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Mostly, all this just seemed more interesting to post about than just saying "yup, I wrote words today."


    Speaking of which...

    Yup, I wrote words today.


    Total words in document:  286,341

    Words written today:  2,701

    Words written in November to date:  36,341

    Pretty version:


    I've also done another kind of chart, looking at the words written by day.  (Someone was posting that chart of theirs from the NaNo site, and I had to admit that it's a fun way of looking at the data, so I did my own.  Only unfortunately it doesn't leave it without a line for the remaining days, instead posting those points as zeros, which is why I haven't posted it yet, since it looks bad this way.)


    I would probably be more productive if I didn't have this peaks and troughs thing going on, but...🤷🏻‍♀️

Thursday, November 9, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 9: not a good day

 I don't know quite what caused it, but I was having more heart palpitations all morning.  I did manage to write the next scene, which was quite a doozy emotionally (the lead, who has a very volatile temper and a fair bit of pride, overhears people saying terrible things about his clan, including accusing them of arson), but then I had to stop in the hopes I could get my heart back under control.

It did eventually calm down around lunchtime (not sure if it was playing Ooblets or eating lunch that did the trick) but by then I'd had news that my mom was in the hospital, so I was in no state to keep writing.  Thankfully, it turned out she was just being held for observation because the scheduled cardiac tests that were being run this morning showed something the doctors thought was worrying, but she said she feels fine, so...I just have to hope she is fine.  Given the way the doctors have totally failed to diagnose anything about my own heart problem, I'm having trouble feeling super-confident about them.

By the time the radio silence from the hospital was finally over, I just needed a long bath to try and calm myself.  And by the time that was over, there was zero chance of properly returning to writing.  (Although I did just barely start the next scene just now on my phone...)

So, anyway, my numbers today are pretty puny.

Total words in work:  283,640

Words written today:  2,094

Words written in November to date:  33,640

(No chart today; that's on the computer only.)

Wednesday, November 8, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 8: I had something I wanted to say....

     I definitely did have something I wanted to say in this post.

    Something about what I've written over the last couple of days.

    And I have totally, utterly forgotten what it was.  😭


    It's, like, beyond pathetic.


    Oh well.


    Main thing is, I got a lot written today.


    Oh!

    Bookmarks!

    That's what it was!

    Right, so I put bookmarks in my Word files.  One at the beginning of each scene.  So I can jump right to scenes and double-check what I wrote, or whatever.  (It's especially necessary on a work like this one that's so ludicrously long that I literally forget what I've already written.  I wrote some five or six hundred words (at minimum) the other day that will have to be edited out in the next draft because it turned out the characters already knew what they were debating about.  Wait, I feel like I already posted about that...?)

    After a while of experimenting on how best to handle what to call the bookmarks, I settled on a thing of always naming them with numbers so they're in order.  "sc02_they_meet" "sc03_enemy_attack" etc, like that.  This thing is so long that I ended up going into the 100s on the bookmarks, meaning I had to go back and rename all of the ones leading up to 100, because otherwise it would put sc100 right after sc10.  Which is obviously not acceptable for a lot of reasons!  🤣  Of course, you can't just rename a bookmark in Word; you have to place a new one in the same spot with the modified name and then delete the old one.  Pain in the butt.  😰  But I did it anyway, over about three or four days.  (This was months ago, of course; I'm up to scene 141 or so by now.)

    Anyway, what I wanted to say about the bookmarks was mostly just that on days like today, when I get really in the zone, I end up starting multiple scenes without remembering to put bookmarks on them, so then I have to go back and do several bookmarks at once.  Which is annoying, but on the other hand it means I was really getting my story told, so... 🤷🏻‍♀️


    Numbers time!

    Total words in document:  281,546

    Words written today:  9,197

    Words written in November to date:  31,546


    Pretty version:



Tuesday, November 7, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 7: How is it Day 7 already?

     How can it already be November 7th?

    Shouldn't it still be, like, June or something?

    This year has been way too fast.


    Ugh.


    Anyway, writing was done today, but not really enough.  I kept losing my momentum.  Didn't help that I didn't go to the grocery store yesterday, so this morning I had no caffeine and almost no breakfast, and I had to go to the grocery store first thing before it could get hot.  Because yeah, the weather here slipped back into summer again.  😭  Should move to fall after another couple days, so I guess that's something, since it had briefly skipped over fall to go straight to winter.


    I feel like there was something that I wrote about today that I wanted to share, but now I don't remember what it was.

    Oh well.

    Anyway!


    Total words in work:  272,349

    Words written today:  2,677

    Words written in November to date:  22,349

    Pretty version:


     (Finally with better colors! 😁 )

Monday, November 6, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 6: running out of titles already

     I oughta come up with a way to have a blog without having to put titles on posts.  (Though I guess that's not really possible...)

    Today was all right in terms of word count, but frustratingly when I went to check on the contents of an earlier scene, I realized that half of a conversation I wrote was unnecessary and will need to go.  Not because the audience already knows something (technically, they're discussing the motivation behind a mass murder that comes from canon, so everyone reading it already knows the truth of what they're trying to guess at) but because half the characters involved already know, as I forgot it came up in the interrogation of a different character some 30-40k words ago. 😰  My writing method is sometimes very sloppy.  (That, of course, is why I would never want anyone to see one of my works before I've edited it...)

    On the other hand, I had great fun with having Wei Wuxian describe Xue Yang's appearance as "Beautiful, but deranged."  Which made a certain other party in the room laugh, a lot.  (Though it's not hard to make him laugh...)  I felt it was the perfect physical description for him.  🤣


    Anyway.

    Total words in document:  269,672

    Words written today:  3,242

    Words written in November to date:  19,672

    (I really wanted to write a little more and hit 20k, but it just wasn't happening.  And it's best not to force these things, ya know?  (Although if I counted words written in plot summaries, outlines, blog posts and comments on the document regarding changes to make next draft, I would probably be at least up to 21k by now, if not even further...but that always feels kind of like cheating, so I don't want to do that if I don't have to...))


    Aaaaaand I still forgot to look into changing the colors. :sigh:

Sunday, November 5, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 5: Yes, 5 comes after 4 and before 6

     (Sorry for the dumb title; I started to write "Day 6" and evidently I've gotten a bit punchy...)


    So, today was a pretty good day.  (Writing and doing laundry seem to mesh well, I guess?)  I got over some more of the "I just need these to balance things out and mark that important but boring events are happening" scenes and got to some of the meatier stuff, with more meaty stuff on the horizon (though I need to rewatch an episode or two of the drama first to refresh my memory of how the event was handled differently from the novel).

    Oh, also this happened today:


    I love me a good palindrome.  😁


    Total word count in work:  266,430

    Words written today:  6,783

    Words written in November total:  16,430

    Pretty picture version:

       Hmm.  I feel like maybe the proportions are a little off on that graph.  Maybe it shouldn't be quite that tall?  I suppose I ought to look at the proportions on the official graphs on the NaNo site, for what little that means... 🤔 …and I forgot to change up the color scheme again...

Saturday, November 4, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 4: 404 Title Not Found

 Ugh.  One of those days.  As soon as I have to leave the house, my productivity is permanently kaput.


I had to go out to lunch with my parents today.  Then watch an episode of TV with them (which they have seen roughly a gazillion times but somehow they think it's worthwhile to sit there and simply watch it again without even doing anything else at the same time) and....ugh.

Day lost.

I mean, it could be worse.  I did at least get in a decent day's writing before I had to leave.  But the fact that I had no choice in the matter is still galling.  As is the fact that I could probably have written twice as much if I hadn't been forced to stop while I still had some juice left in me.

Anyway, I'm posting this on my phone, so I have no graph today.  But I do at least have numbers.

The whole work's total is now up to 259,647, which means I wrote 2,300 words today.  (The even hundred is kinda cool, I gotta admit...but I would have preferred to break 10k today.  Reaching Day 4 without even breaking 10k is humiliating.  (On the first draft of the first Atalanta and Ariadne book, I broke 50k on the fourth day!  Admittedly, on that one I literally wrote all night on the first night and I was much younger then, but still!  (It wasn't even NaNo; I was just that jazzed about what I was writing.)))

Friday, November 3, 2023

NotNaNo '23 Day 3: (insert title here)

     Not a lot to report today.  I didn't really get much writing done because I went out to lunch and a tiny bit of shopping, which completely derails my train of thought. 😭  I did just barely exceed the suggested minimum daily number of words, though, so I guess that's a bit of a win?

    Total words in project:  257,347

    Words written today:   1,863

    Words written in November to date:  7,347


    Ugh, it looks so minimal.  Back in the day, I'd exceed 7k on the first day usually.  😭  Well, I guess I just have to try harder from here on out...  (Of a more pressing concern is that I only wrote one scene today.  And also yesterday, too.  The first day I wrote two.  I have so much in this outline that I really need to be writing at least 2-3 scenes per day...but that'll probably be a lot easier to do when I hit the Siege Hunt at Mount Baifeng.  That'll probably put me back to the level of speedy writing I had on the stuff ending the Sunshot Campaign and dealing with its immediate after effects.  I hope.)


    Pretty chart version:

    

    Hmm.  Actually, that'd be prettier if I changed the colors a bit.  I should do that tomorrow...