Wednesday, November 29, 2023

NotNaNo '23, Day 29: Sometimes it feels like a curse

     I swear, my body hates me.  Most of my health problems come from my weight.  I'm aware of this.  (I say "most" because my asthma definitely does not.  Nor my poor eyesight.)  But every time I try to lose weight, somehow I do it wrong and make everything worse.

    As I said, sometimes it feels like a curse.

    Y'see, as I've mentioned already, I've been dieting for the past couple weeks, trying to reduce my overall appetite so that once that's accomplished I can eat more-or-less normally but still lose weight.  (If that makes any sense.)  I evidently went so overboard that today the world was spinning so badly when I was in the bath that I had to get out without even washing my hair (I did at least wash my body, so that's something) out of fear that I might pass out and drown or something.  I've been a bit dizzy for most of the day, but after having a goodly meal with lots of protein (though really, the meal bars have a lot of protein, too!) and some potassium (from a baked potato) I've been a little better.  But now I have no idea what I should be doing about my diet.

    Well, other than consulting a doctor.  I mean, realistically, that's what I should have done in the first place, but it seems like the latest weight loss craze among doctors is "oh, if you want to lose weight then you should let us cut you open and staple your stomach shut!" which is just not happening.  Gross.  It's like, can you please just give me an appetite suppressant and call it a day?  I do not want to have staples in my stomach.  Ick.

    *cough*


    Anyway.

    Despite the dizziness fit, I was actually able to get a good amount of writing done today.  It was only one scene, but it was a long one.  (And I got to have a moment where Wei Wuxian's vanity shows itself, which is always fun.  Actually, I'm not sure "vanity" is the right word?  It's more like pride in the fact that everyone else finds him attractive?  It's not really something I can easily sum up...)

    And I had to adjust the numbers represented on my chart again, so now the top line on it represents 100k words, which I am super not going to reach tomorrow, and that is totally fine.  Um.  Okay, actually...I kinda would like to reach it, but that is not going to happen, and I am striving to be okay with that because I do not want to induce further stress and send my heart off into tizzy land again.


    *ahem*

    So.

    Numbers.

    Total words in document:  335,062

    Yesterday I wrote:  2,942 words

    Today I wrote:  4,117 words

    Total words written in November to date:  85,062

    Pretty version:

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