So...my heart palpitations have come back. With a vengeance. The last few days, really, but they really kicked into overdrive last night, and didn't let up this morning, though by now (midafternoon), they've calmed down again.
I'm hoping that it's just because of the "hurry up and get it done" atmosphere that's been pervading my life for the last week or so. The constant frustration that I'm not progressing through my outline quickly enough. The drive to finish rereading the first seven volumes of Heaven Official's Blessing before the final volume comes out tomorrow. (Spoiler: not gonna make it. I'm almost done with volume four. No way I can read volumes five through seven in the next twenty-four hours. Volume five, sure, but not more than that. It really pisses me off that my own stupidity is gonna delay me getting to find out how the story ends. Still glad I'm rereading, though; I'm noticing a ton of details and hints that I had no clue about the first time, since now that I know where the story is going, I understand the characters' actions differently.)
There's been other factors, too. There's the frustration of having my schedule (particularly my writing schedule) interrupted for Thanksgiving and various other things surrounding it. The rush to try to remember all the sites I wanted to shop at during the post-Thanksgiving sales. (I do not shop in person anywhere other than a grocery store between Thanksgiving and New Year's. Just too many people out there. I can't handle it. Also, I have a terminal allergy to Christmas music, especially the ghastly variety played by retail establishments.) The frustration that the final volume of Heaven Official's Blessing was delayed a week and so now I'll have to go to Barnes & Noble on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving instead of the Tuesday before it.
And, worst of all, my body's sensitivity to various things fluctuates sometimes, and about a week ago, maybe a week and a half, my body entered into a very strong sensitive to touching itself phase. Which sounds dirty, but it's not. You see, I have a very massive weight problem. Like, at least one doctor has described my condition as "morbidly obese." Which seems inherently rude, but whatever. Point is, when I sit, it's very hard to keep my stomach from touching my legs. Sometimes this is only mildly annoying, and sometimes--as for the past week or so--it is so mind-bogglingly uncomfortable that I have to find something to shove between them and try to use a standing desk set-up to write despite that standing in place too long makes my back hurt. Having my arms touch my stomach or my breasts is also almost impossible to avoid, and goes beyond uncomfortable into a bit painful, as the skin on my left arm goes beyond sensitive into the "life-threateningly maddening" category, and right now my arm touching my stomach or breasts makes the cloth on my shirt feel like it's sandpaper of a particularly rough and viciously cruel variety. Which makes no sense, but nothing about my body ever does. Anyway, because of that, I have been on an extremely tight diet, trying to shrink my stomach (not the belly, but the actual organ) so that I'll have less appetite, so that losing weight will be a little less difficult. (Right around Thanksgiving is the absolute worst time for this, but it's not like my body asked my permission!)
There's various other little things as well, but those are the main ones.
Basically, I'm stressed out all over the place, and there's not a huge amount to be done about it except to tell myself to stop stressing out. Not always an effective tactic, to say the least.
Anyway. NotNaNoWriMo time.
Total words in document: 328,003
Words written yesterday: 2,450
Words written today: 1,581
Words written in November to date: 78,003
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