I'm feeling very down today, so I'm not going to continue the rant-series I started yesterday, because focusing on that kind of negative sentiment will only make me feel worse. (That may be the case no matter how I'm feeling, but...)
I kind of feel like my whole life is collapsing on my head.
I know it's not, but it feels that way. (Even though I know for a fact that I have a lot of options on how to get out of every single one of my problems.)
My car is currently non-functional, again, because...well, the mechanics at the dealership the last time claimed it was just the battery and it was solely because I don't drive it enough, but the AAA people who jumped it for me said it wasn't just the battery. And I'm inclined to believe the people from the AAA, because a) they're not reaping any benefit from me continually having to get my car fixed while the people at the dealership are, b) if cars needed to be jumpstarted every time they weren't driven for two weeks, then every airport's long-term parking lot would have to have a dedicated automotive triage center, and c) the people at the dealership's repair department have always had this attitude around me like "you're just a dumb female so we can milk you for all the money we want," and I see no reason to think this attitude has changed just because there's something more serious wrong with my car now. Since I would likely get the same treatment at most other places I could take the car to get it repaired--not to mention that obviously I get very little use from having it since losing my job--I've been thinking I should just sell it and be done with it. Of course, that has its own drawbacks, in that suddenly I would be dependent on my brother to take me to the grocery store (admittedly, we usually do end up going together, because we hang out a lot and there's a grocery store directly in between our houses) or have to have my groceries delivered. (In the right weather I could walk, in theory, but I'm so out of shape right now that I don't know how successful I would be at having the strength to walk all the way there, do my shopping, and then carry it all back again.) Not to mention that if I want to go somewhere fun by myself (like an antique mall) then I'd either be out of luck or would have to call a taxi/uber, and that sounds like a tremendous waste of money, not to mention would require human contact that I'm not entirely comfortable with at the moment. I've told myself I could rent a car for periods when I know my brother won't be able to give me a ride, etc., but I wonder if I really could? Do car rental places require a credit check? My credit is so bad that I literally couldn't get a cell phone account from a regular place and had to go to a cheapie carrier that doesn't check credit. (It's not even my fault; I've been good about my bills for years now, but I don't have a credit card, and that paying credit card bills seems to be the only thing that makes it go up. But I am just not doing that, not again.)
And I just paid my taxes, which came to an appalling sum, about a quarter of the money I have to live on for the year. (This makes the "selling my car" option particularly appealing, since according to whatever website it was I looked it up on last week, the blue book value for my car, even in crappy condition, is nearly as much as I paid in taxes, because it's a hybrid, and those are hot right now. Also then I wouldn't have to be paying an exorbitant amount in auto insurance. I'd say it would also mean a savings in gas, but honestly, between the hybrid and not driving it much, I don't even remember the last time I bought gas. It was probably last year.)
My mother is constantly getting on my case to replace my roof, my house is a sty, and I think my refrigerator is dying, but I don't think there's any way I can replace it because of the aforementioned styness of the house.
On top of all this, I released book two in my quasi-YA series, and absolutely no one has looked at it.
Okay, not absolutely no one, but...something like five browser plays (I released it on itch.io as something to be "played" online), and as the novel is over a hundred thousand words long, there is no conceivable way that someone could read it in one sitting, so...either five people started it and said "yuck" and went away again, or one person read it in five sittings, or something in between. I think it's the former, though. I've also been posting it to AO3 in chapters, and there have been a total of 4 views. Three of them were accrued after the first posting, which had the prologue and first chapter, the fourth was there after the second chapter went up, and no one bothered to read the third chapter.
So...yeah, evidently it sucks even harder than the previous book.
Which is weird; I thought that people would like it better, since it gets into the interesting stuff right away. (I mean, by the second chapter they're having to make their way past Scylla and Charybdis! The second chapter of the first book is mostly just the two girls walking from Pedasos to the ruins of the Achaian camp outside Troy.)
...and this is turning out to be even more negativity than the other would have been, so I'm going to stop here before I make it even worse.
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