IWSG - Malaise

 

    It's hard for me to get much writing done right now, because it's hard to concentrate on anything.  I've been struggling with why that is, and I think the only realistic explanation is a general malaise and implosion of any sense of self-worth (not that I was ever deluded into thinking I had all that much worth) due to the state of the world, in general, and the loss of my job, in specific.  For a long time, I was okay with my lack of skills and anything most people would consider a life because I had a job I (mostly) enjoyed and which served society in the form of historic preservation.

    But since I was booted from the job due to reduced budget because of the pandemic forcing the museum to close for the better part of a year and to cancel all the year's fundraising events, suddenly I don't have the job that was such a lifeline for my sanity and sense that I wasn't wasting my life.  Now all I have is my writing.  Which would be fine if my writing was actually good, or people wanted to read it.  But it's not good, and no one wants to read it.

    Maybe if I was in a better headspace, I might be able to improve at least some aspects of my writing, but without that external force bolstering me, I can't get into the necessary headspace to actually accomplish such a difficult task.  I can barely even get any writing done.  (Seriously, it felt like a major accomplishment to write a fairy tale-like story of less than 2k words.  That would not, normally, have felt like an accomplishment.  Now, getting it "animated" in Ren'py, that will be a genuine accomplishment...)

    Seems like all I'm good for right now is moaning about my pitiful lot in life, which is particularly galling considering how little I truly have to complain about.  (I mean, despite losing my job, I'm in no financial difficulties, for a start.  I should just be thankful for that, and nothing else, you know?)

    So...yeah...I don't really have much to talk about, because I'm barely connected to myself right now, if that makes any sense whatsoever.

    (On a lighter note, the date 2/2/22 is pretty cool.  Wish I had something interesting or entertaining to say about the all-twos nature of the date...)